Uncertainty, unresolved traumas, low self-esteem, or even an introverted character, can be enough reasons to lose confidence and motivation in life. Gaining self-confidence is supposed to be fundamental, although sometimes it is more difficult than it seems, especially in times of crisis.
We believe that everything that doesn’t go as planned is proof that we don’t know how to do things or that our decisions are unwise. However, each mistake and each of that failure are a great lesson in our lives, which makes us resilient.
Self-confidence is a treasure to cultivate
It seems like one of those hackneyed phrases that give so much anger: trust yourself, as if that were something you could buy at the corner store, right? The truth is that, as much as it annoys us, that self-confidence is something that needs training, and a lot. It’s like when you want to mark the triceps or round the buttocks because as a general rule, we don’t come with the self-esteem chip in the right place, and it tends to short-circuit us every time life surprises us with a new setback.
We resist taking the reins of our destiny, letting ourselves be carried away by the current of the day today, without it really being a conscious decision. The worst thing is that we do it out of fear because we don’t believe that we can overcome all those insecurities that don’t let us move forward.
As Charo Vargas, the creator of Charuca would say, it is about time that we become the bosses of our lives, that we go for what we want and that we leave behind that ballast that does not let us grow. She takes a look at her book ‘Jefa de to Vida, where she shares tools, her experiences, and the exercises that have helped her get there.
Tricks to gain self-confidence
How can we increase that security? There is a certain formula that can help us with this task.
A little movement and self-listening
To have habits and routines that do not make us feel good, generating a sense of self-care around us. It is important to rest enough hours, do physical exercise, respect meal times for rest, as well as cultivate a leisure activity that nourishes us.
All this will help us connect with ourselves and listen to our needs, trying to respect them as much as possible. “This attention is essential to begin to treat each other kindly and to love each other.”
Be careful with body language and posture
“Today we know that not only emotion can cause a posture or body tension, but also that a certain posture can cause an emotion or state of mind. Stretch instead of shrugging, with your shoulders back and down, so that you feel your chest open and your breathing improves. In a few minutes, you will notice that you feel more confident and secure.
Do you remember how our body posture influences our mood? We will tell you in this article about the positions of power that can hack our brains.
Plan to gain self-confidence
If something scares us, we believe that we cannot do it or we are afraid of doing it wrong, and we can design a plan to face it progressively.
“For example, if you feel insecure when it comes to talking and interacting with people in the office, start small, first with a friendly person, approaching them with any excuse or to ask how their weekend was. Little by little, increase the number of people you interact with throughout the day until you do it with authority figures or those who impose you the most (don’t forget to take into account your body posture and tone of voice).»
Self-demand, our worst enemy
Often, insecurity is related to a high self-demand, a need to want everything to be perfect. «If this is your case, try to relativize the errors and remember that beauty is the result of an error. Learning is achieved because we err.”
Accept ourselves as we are
Laura emphasizes an issue as fundamental as acceptance. «She Observes and values your qualities and tries to accept the limitations. If these last ones can be improved, let’s work on them, if not, let’s accept them.